Someone asked me what I do at a networking dinner a few months ago. I gave the answer I've given for fifteen years. "I plan events. Weddings, corporate, community." And I watched her face do the thing faces do. The small nod. The "oh, that sounds fun." The mental filing of me into a folder she already had.
The whole time, there was this small voice in the back of my mind. That's not quite it anymore. I didn't correct the folder she was filing me into, because I didn't have the new label ready yet.
That's the thing nobody tells you about a pivot. The inside shifts first. The outside is always a few steps behind.
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In this episode
Identity lag: why the inside shifts before the outside catches up
Why reputation inside a niche becomes a container, and what happens when you start to outgrow it
The origin of imposter syndrome (Clance and Imes, 1978)
The kind of imposter energy in a pivot: not a capability gap, a permission gap
Simple and easy are not the same thing. Neither are hard and complicated
Why I chose to document this pivot publicly
Three things I've learned through this
What is identity lag?
Your inside moves first. The externals, your bio, your LinkedIn, how other people introduce you, what they hire you for, move second. And the gap between those two things? That's where the imposter energy lives.
This has been the quietest, strangest, most disorienting part of this whole redesign. Harder, in some ways, than the business decisions. Because at least with the calendar, you can see what you changed. With identity, the change is happening on a delay, and you're the only one who can feel it.
When your reputation becomes a container
I've been doing this work for fifteen years. I have clients who've referred clients who've referred more clients. I have a network that knows exactly what I am. I built that. And it is also, in some ways, the thing I have to outgrow.
Here's what happens with reputation inside a niche. It becomes a container. People refer you for what you've always done. They hire you for the version of you they know. And when you're trying to become something that doesn't quite have a category yet, the celebration starts to feel a little off-key. Not wrong. Just not quite right anymore.
A colleague introduced me at an event earlier this year. He was kind about it. "This is Amanda Douglas. She's the best wedding planner in Winnipeg." The room smiled. I smiled. And inside, there was this small, quiet crisis. The title is kind. And also, that's not the whole story anymore. So I said thank you, kept moving, and carried that small dissonance home with me.
Imposter syndrome during a career change
In 1978, psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes coined the term. They defined it as the inability to internalize your accomplishments. A persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud, even when the evidence says otherwise.
That's not quite what I'm describing here. My imposter energy in this pivot isn't about capability. I know I can do the work. It's more like: do I have permission to call myself this yet? Have I done enough to earn the new label? Has enough time passed? Have enough people agreed?
Imposter energy also makes things more complicated than they are. I went back and forth on this change for months, feeling like I must be missing something. But there wasn't. What the gap is, is knowledge. Learn how to do the thing. Learn how it applies to where you want to work, what you want to teach, what communities you want to serve. And get to the shift.
That sounds simple. It is simple. But simple and easy are not the same thing. What I was confusing was hard with complicated.
Deciding before you've fully arrived
There's a very human instinct to wait until you've fully arrived. Wait until you have the credentials, the track record in the new thing, until it's built, launched and working. It feels responsible. But I've started to think it keeps you stuck in the gap longer than you need to be.
You don't become the architect and then start thinking like one. You start thinking like one, and that's what makes you become it. The doing follows the deciding. And the deciding is something you can do right now. Even in the middle. Even when it's not built yet.
Last week I was timeblocking my next three weeks, scheduling it the way a busy CEO would: personal time, professional time, operations, meetings, networking, some travel. And then I stopped. Because that's exactly what I am. I just hadn't been treating my time with that kind of intention.
Pivoting your business in public
I've been doing this podcast while also being, full stop, a wedding planner. Talking about the shift to consulting, education, creative direction and thought leadership, and then driving to venue walkthroughs on Tuesday. Both things are real. A pivot isn't a door you walk through and the old room disappears. You start spending more time in the new room. You slowly redecorate where your energy goes. But for a long time, you're walking between the two, and other people are watching you walk.
That's by design. This podcast isn't on my wedding or events Instagram. It's for a whole new group of people I'll be serving. I can build here first and expand it out as I go. With a nervous system like mine, slow and gentle launches have been the way.
I could have kept the pivot quiet and launched everything polished, after the fact. I chose to document it in real time because the people I most want to reach are mid-transition too. They don't need a polished arrival story. They need to know someone else is in the gap too. And surviving it.
A few things I've learned. First, other people's memory of you is not a limitation. It just moves slower than yours. You don't have to correct every introduction. Keep operating from the new version, and how you show up does the re-filing for you. Second, the discomfort of not having a clean title is temporary. You feel around in the dark until something fits, and it fits faster when you're willing to try things out loud. Third, the version of you that's becoming something is just as real as the version that's already arrived.
Key line
The gap between what you know and what you're willing to claim, that's not a capability gap. It's a permission gap. And permission, it turns out, is something you give yourself.
Reflection question
If you're in a transition right now, what are you waiting for before you start operating from the new version of yourself? Is it a credential? A client list? A revenue number? A certain amount of time? What would it look like to start claiming the new identity before you feel you've fully earned it? Not performing it. Not faking it. Just deciding. And ask yourself whether the wait is wisdom, or just fear in a very responsible-looking outfit.
FAQ
What is identity lag in a career pivot?
It's the gap between how you see yourself and how the world still sees you. Your inside moves first. Your bio, your LinkedIn and how people introduce you move second. That gap is where imposter energy tends to live.
Who coined the term imposter syndrome?
Psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes, in 1978. They defined it as the inability to internalize your accomplishments, a persistent fear of being exposed as a fraud even when the evidence says otherwise.
How do you handle introductions that no longer fit?
You don't have to correct every one. Say thank you and keep operating from the new version. People update their mental folder, not because you announced a rebrand, but because they watched you become something different.
Should you wait until a new business is built before claiming it?
Waiting can keep you in the gap longer than you need to be. The doing follows the deciding, and you can decide now, even in the middle.
This post is based on Season 1, Episode 11 of Work, By Design, a podcast by Amanda Douglas & Co. about redesigning how you work.
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