The words we put into rooms, on stages, on podcasts, even just in conversation, shape what people believe we're for.
A lot of people hear "speaking" and immediately picture a stage. A mic. A crowd. A polished talk with slides and a Q&A. That's one version of it. But it's not the only one, and it's not the one I'm building toward right now.
Speaking is a strategy. Not performing. Positioning.
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In this episode
Why what you talk about in public tells people what you're for, whether you're being intentional about it or not
The trap of reinforcing a version of yourself you're moving past
How three core speaking lanes came from the questions people were already asking
Why not every stage is the right stage
The difference between the strategic authority lane and the personal leadership lane
Speaking as positioning, not performing
Here's what I mean when I say speaking is a strategy. What you talk about in public, on a podcast, on a panel, in a room, in a DM, tells people what you're for. It tells them what problems you think about. It tells them where your brain lives.
And if what you're talking about doesn't match where you're going, you're going to keep attracting the wrong work. That's such an easy trap to fall into.
I learned this the hard way. For years, I would get asked to speak about event planning logistics. Timelines. Vendor coordination. Day-of management. And I was good at that. I could do a breakout session on run-of-show documents in my sleep. I'm not walking away from that. I'll keep teaching those things in a more formal education setting. But that's its own lane.
Every time I said yes to that kind of talk, I was reinforcing a version of myself I was trying to move past. I was telling the room: I am an executor. When what I actually wanted to say was: I think about why gatherings work or don't. I think about the design underneath the production. I think about what happens when you stop planning events and start architecting experiences.
How to find your speaking topics
So I had to get intentional about what I was putting out there. Not just what I'd say yes to, but what I'd pitch. What I'd bring up in conversation. What I'd write about. What I'd name as my territory.
I didn't wake up one morning with three perfect speaking topics. They came from paying attention. I started noticing what people asked me about that had nothing to do with centrepieces or seating charts. They'd ask me things like: How do you make decisions that fast? How did you hold that room together when everything shifted? How do you design something that actually works instead of just looking good on paper?
Those questions were the signal. Those were the conversations I was already having at the level I wanted to operate at.
So I started collecting them. Not formally. Just noticing, writing them down, seeing what kept coming back. The debriefs were one place I gathered a lot of that. After every event, my team and I go through what went well, what didn't, what I could have done better to support staff, and how the supporting documents worked for them and the vendors. At the end of a season, I go back through every debrief and every itinerary I made notes on, and use that to adjust the product and tweak the systems. That constant loop of building, reviewing and rebuilding is one of the places these lanes came from.
Three speaking lanes for a career pivot
Lane 1: Why events fail. Not logistically. Structurally. Events fail when the purpose is unclear. When the format doesn't match the audience. When someone builds an experience around what they want to show instead of what the guests actually need to feel. That's a design problem, not a planning problem. And I can talk about that for hours.
Lane 2: Decision-making under pressure. This is the one that surprises people, because they don't think of event planners as high-stakes decision-makers. But we are. Every event is a series of fast, irreversible calls made with incomplete information in a room full of people who are watching. I've gone into crisis management when someone forgot to tell us about a nut allergy at a dinner. I've had a venue that appeared to be on fire. I've walked into a venue and realized the square footage wasn't what we were told. I've had AV fail and had to rework the program. I've told a client their timeline wasn't going to work, kindly, clearly and without apology, and helped them build a better one before they left the room. That's not coordination. That's judgment under pressure. And it translates to way more than weddings.
Lane 3: Designing work that actually holds. This one is the most personal. It's about building a career and a business that doesn't require you to be the engine all the time. About knowing the difference between a business that works and a business that works because you never stop. If you've been in any service-based business long enough, you've felt that moment where the pace stops being sustainable. The passion is still there, but the model is wearing you down. That's what made me start rethinking everything.
Those three topics aren't just speaking topics. They're positioning. Every time I talk about why events fail, I'm telling the room I think at the architecture level. Every time I talk about decision-making under pressure, I'm showing consulting-level judgment. Every time I talk about designing work that holds, I'm modelling the pivot I'm in. I'm not announcing a new title. I'm demonstrating a new operating level.
How to choose the right speaking opportunities
Where you choose to show up matters just as much as what you say. Not every stage is the right stage.
I'm not trying to speak everywhere. I'm trying to speak in the rooms where the people I want to work with already are. That means business communities. Event industry panels. Conferences where decisions are being made about programming, not just decor.
It also means I've said no to a few things that would have been flattering to say yes to. Because visibility without alignment is just noise. It feels productive. It looks good. But it's busy work. It's that feeling of getting somewhere when really you're just saying yes too much.
I say this to myself a lot, usually when I need to hear it the most: I'm for the few, not for the many.
Strategic authority vs personal leadership
When it comes to speaking, rooms and stages, I think about it in terms of two lanes.
There's the strategic authority lane. That's the primary one. That's where consulting lives. That's where education lives. That's where the revenue comes from.
And then there's the personal leadership lane. Building a career that works with your brain. Designing structure when you don't fit systems. Creative leadership without burnout. It's what really birthed Camp Rover. That lane is real and it matters to me. But it's maybe thirty percent of where I show up to speak. Not fifty.
Inspiration does get people in the door. I'm not dismissing that. But I don't want to be hired for inspiration alone. I want it baked into the work, the speaking and the education, not sitting on top as the whole selling point. Depth gets hired for the long game. The personal story supports the credibility. It doesn't replace it.
Key line
The words we put into rooms carry weight. They build a reputation whether we're being intentional about it or not. You become what you repeat.
Reflection question
If someone heard you speak tomorrow, on a panel, a podcast, a workshop, even just in a meeting, would what you talked about match where you're going? Or would it match where you've already been?
Timestamps
00:01 Speaking is a strategy
00:58 What you talk about tells people what you're for
03:27 Learning this the hard way
06:03 Where the three topics came from
08:49 Debriefs as a source of signal
15:30 Lane 1: Why events fail
18:33 Lane 2: Decision-making under pressure
25:08 Lane 3: Designing work that holds
27:25 Speaking topics as positioning
29:05 Not every stage is the right stage
30:21 Strategic authority vs personal leadership
37:33 Reflection question
FAQ
How do I choose speaking topics when I'm pivoting?
Pay attention to the questions people already ask you that have nothing to do with the work you're moving away from. Write them down and see what keeps coming back. Those are the conversations you're already having at the level you want to operate at.
Do I need to be on a stage to have a speaking strategy?
No. What you talk about on a podcast, on a panel, in a room or in a DM all tells people what you're for. You can pick your topics now and start practising them at networking events before you're ever on a stage.
Should I say yes to every speaking opportunity?
No. Not every stage is the right stage. Speak in the rooms where the people you want to work with already are. Visibility without alignment is just noise.
What's the difference between the strategic authority lane and the personal leadership lane?
The strategic authority lane is where consulting, education and revenue live. The personal leadership lane is about building a career that works with your brain and creative leadership without burnout. For me, the personal lane is maybe thirty percent of where I speak, because the personal story supports the credibility. It doesn't replace it.
This post is based on Season 1, Episode 6 of Work, By Design, a podcast by Amanda Douglas & Co. about redesigning how you work.
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